


Little by Little by Little

by Kylo Hux (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)



Series: You Touched Me, and Suddenly, I was a Lilac Sky [32]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Death by Lightsaber, F/M, Jedi Ben Solo, Lightsaber Stabbing, M/M, Multi, Non-Canonical Character Death, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 17:51:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6125062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/Kylo%20Hux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>In another realm, on another planet, in another galaxy... maybe</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little by Little by Little

The burning sensation shot through his chest and Hux cried out, the pain exploding through his chest and spine, where the blade had forced through.  
  
He stared up at Kylo Ren – no – Ben Solo and coughed hard. He felt a small amount of liquid pooling in his mouth, filling it with a sharp, irony tang. It made him cough, and he stared at the red decorating Ben Solo’s hand, still holding the hilt of the lightsaber in his chest.  
  
Tears welled up in Hux’s tears as he saw the sparking _blue_ blade, and he smiled.  
  
He’d done it. He’d saved the man he loved from Snoke’s grip.  
  
Finally looking up, he stared at the shocked expression on Ben’s face, tears welling up in his own, soft brown eyes.  
  
God, Hux wished he could have woken up to those beautiful eyes at least once.  
  
“I-I... I love you, Ben.”  
  
Ben’s jaw started quivering twice as fast. The lightsaber powers down and Hux is all too aware of the gaping hole in his chest.  
  
“I know, Brendol.”  
  
Hux jolted as he realised that’s the first time he’s ever heard Ben say his name. The sound of his name falling from Ben’s lips, sounding so tearful, made Hux’s heart break. No, Ben Solo shouldn’t be crying over Brendol Hux, murderer and-  
  
“You’re not a murderer. You’re a good man.”  
  
Ben dropped his lightsaber hilt, and slowly knelt down, holding Hux in his lap. Hux’s hand lifted, gripping to Ben’s as he smiled weakly.  
  
“I’m sorry, Brendol.”  
  
Ben leant down, and his lips pressed against the very corner of Hux’s. It gave the man hope that they might get a chance some day, perhaps...  
  
“Perhaps in another world or another time...”  
  
Ben’s tears fall onto his face Hux smiles weakly before his eyes begin to glaze over. It takes a moment to realise the man has passed on, and he can’t help but cling to the ex-general’s body, sobbing into his chest – on the good side, on the side that wasn’t ruined by the now-Jedi.  
  
“Ben.”  
  
“Leave me.”  
  
Leia didn’t dare move forward.  
  
“He needs to be sent back to the Fir-”  
  
Leia suddenly can’t breathe, her throat is being constricted and then the feeling is gone, and Ben is looking at her, terrified.  
  
“I-I’m sorry... No; he deserves to be buried here, with the fallen members of the Resistance-”  
  
“-with the bodies of men he’s killed?”  
  
“He risked his life to bring me here, to bring me back to the Resistance, back to you. He defied Snoke, which even _I_ was too scared to do. He deserves a hero’s rest.”  
  
Leia bowed her head and began making plans in her mind. Ben sobs, hearing them, his Mother gently projecting them so he can be sure of her decision before she leaves to help her troops regroup.  
  
Ben stares down at Hux’s head in his lap, and gently strokes his finger down his face. “I’m so sorry, Brendol...”

-xox-

Senator Solo jerked awake from his REM sleep, the nightmare haunting his dreams.  
  
He breathed heavily, staring around his dark room, at the chair still floating in the corner – he needed to talk to his Uncle about controlling the Force in his sleep.  
  
His wife stirred next to him, and Ben merely gave her a sad gaze as he wordlessly got out of bed. He dressed, trying to ignore the movement of flaming red hair as she sat up, watching him.  
  
She knew she was a replacement for someone, but for whom, she did not know.  
  
Ben was quick to leave his chambers and walk through the long, twisting corridors. He avoided the guards, he avoided the staff and he _definitely_ avoided the corridors where his Mother would still be awake.  
  
She didn’t know about Ben’s midnight trips, and if she did, she never mentioned it.  
  
Ben wanted to keep it that way.  
  
It seemed like an age before he finally reached the grave yard, built around the graves of the brave pilots that had lost their lives, the women that had been mercilessly tortured by The First Order – some of which, Kylo had torn apart himself – and sent back as a warning, the aliens that had sided with the Resistance and found their end as a result.  
  
Away, tucked far away from the rest of the graves, was a small, white marble headstone.  
  
Ben never got over how beautifully it glittered in the moonlight. He would never understand how something so small could be so huge to him.  
  
Immediately wishing he had something to lie on the grave, Ben slowly sunk to his knees, staring at the golden words, picked out on the marble.

 _Brendol Hux_  
_A casualty of war; a man of love_  
  
_in order, one may find peace; in resistance, chaos._

The words had been a favourite quote of Hux’s and Ben had the creators put it on; even if it was a soft little _fuck you_ to the Resistance.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Brendol.”  
  
Ben flinched at his words; they seemed much too loud in the quiet graveyard.  
  
“I didn’t realise it back then.” Tears welled in his eyes, they lumped in his throat, and Ben found it difficult to go on. “I loved you, I did; it was restricted, pushed down by my constant trying, repressed by His hold... I loved you and I am so sorry.”  
  
Ben reached out to press his fingers against the cold marble before he stood and turned, walking sharply through the ever present growing cold becoming more and more uncomfortable by the second.  
  
He was quick to rush through the hallways, quick to head back to his chambers, and quick to undress back to his underwear.  
  
He slipped under the silken sheets of his bed, feeling a jolt of guilt in his stomach at the all too familiar feeling, being transported for a moment back to The First Order, when he would slip under Hux’s much too expensive sheets for comfort, clinging to the man.  
  
His wife rolled over, staring up at him with big, brown eyes and Ben was quick to lean in for a soft kiss. She rolled over and shifted, pressing her back against Ben’s chest; his arm wrapped tightly around her waist and he let his eyes close.  
  
He had loved Hux, once upon a time, many years ago.  
  
And he still did.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was thinking on the gay character JJ mentioned and I thought gay!Hux in unrequited love with straight!Kylo, and gay!Hux doing everything in his power to save the man he loves, even if it results in defying Snoke, and Hux's own death.


End file.
